Thursday, September 23, 2010

not so local terrorism

ok, so, we went with the sister-in-law to mongotmery today. yup you heard me i took the monster out of town. the day started off ok but as the day progressed that all changed.

we ALMOST woke up late but i managed to drag my lazy self out of bed just in the nick of time. i managed to get a shower in record time(pretty sure it was under 5 minutes). i got myself & the monster dressed & ready to leave before my sister-in-law got her to pick us up, which NEVER happens.

 now we are off on our little journey. we make a brief stop for gas but then we are on the road again. the monster is basically good the whole way there. basically, all except for the nonstop talking. half way there she just stopped making any sense at all. she was content as long as her nini played "the bah bah song" (blah blah blah by ke$ha)

we have made it in one piece to the mall!! yay for us!

let the terrorism commence! we reach sears & pick up the glasses that were the whole point of our little rendezvous. everyone has skipped breakfast so we make our way to the food court. the lovely ladies at our favorite chinese place are busy handing out samples of the day's fare, naturally we have try all of them before deciding. we make our purchases & scan for a good place to sit(when you have a 3yr old its natural to pick a seat next to the trash cans). the monster picks form both of our plates & very quicky decides she is full.
we trash our empty plates & head to our first store.

we make the mistake of taking the little diva in claire's. she LOVES jewlery & hats & purses & shoes. the monster is in heaven! the can't decide what to touch first. she quickly finds some dora & princess...umm the back of the store. meanwhile in the front of the store, my sister-in-law is getting her ears pierced or should i say RE pierced & not just her ears the cartilage at the top. she had this pireced once before at wal-mart(a BIG no no)it got infected & had to be taken out. the ears get their new "bling" & we are out of monster heaven. if you buy anythign from claire's in the eastdale mall be warned it most likely has monster germs all over it!

i accidentally take the tiny terrorist into a store that sells nothing but little girls clothes. she gets all ADD in this one too, well worse actually. she trys to play with all the toys that are on display & acts like she has never seen candy before(mommy, look at dis! mommy, look what i found!)i don't think i got really look at anything due to prying her off of random store diaplays.

we try to venture through the mall to another store or two but don't stay in any one store for very long because of the terrorism that occurs in each one. people really look at you funny when your kid is using their outside voice in a small store. we also make a trip or a four to the restroom at the pleading of the monster. the phrase "mommy, i gotta peeee!" gets funny looks too.

i wanted so bad to buy the monster something to add to her ever expanding wardrobe but kept being told by the sister-in-law i need to buy something for myself. i took her advice & bought a giant soft pretzel on the way out.

we managed to make it out of the mall without having to stop at the "ferris wheel"(aka the carousel). we only escaped that wait in line becasue i had told the monshter we would on the way out & then the sister-in-law quickly came up with "we can't sweetie. they closed it." & suprisingly the monster was ok with that somehow.

we made it all day with minimal fussing & fighting. ok so not ALL day, just until we got back home. for some reason when we get home she let everyone have it. thankfully i had a headache & took a nap. she woke me up when she cam in screaming & crying because she couldn't go to church with her granny. it was a women's meeting so she had to stay home(no children's church).

all in all a good day out with the monster. 
it always could have been worse.


ok, so once again not an original but still super awesome.....

Why Are So Many 'Mom Friends' Mean Girls?

Posted by Sasha Brown-Worsham
on September 22, 2010 at 10:15 AM

When you're pregnant, especially if you're among the first of your friends to go, you will inevitably hear about all the new mom friends you will make.
Yeah, good luck with that.
From almost the moment I walked out of delivery, I was greeted by competition: "My baby could sit up and speak Swahili at 4 months!"; envy: "You must just have a really fast metabolism. Most moms take 10 years to lose the baby weight"; sanctimony: "Oh my. It must be lovely to have the time to get pedicures but since I'm busy actually caring for my children, I let my toenails grow wild and yellowed"; snobbery: "Are you the nanny or the mommy?"; and passive aggression.
This video(watch at the bottom of the page) sums it up quite nicely. But where are our answers? Why are moms so keen to cut one another down?
Every day in the park, I see the new moms tentatively approach the veterans, trying to make conversation and I see this happen. On my moms' Listserv, women make subtle (and not-so-subtle) digs at one another almost constantly.
A few weeks ago, one mom wrote a post telling the rest of us something she had seen at the park -- a child being mistreated by a daycare center in the area of town in which many of us use childcare -- that was very upsetting to her. In the moment, she did nothing to stop it, but that did not stop her from posting about it on the list.
Perhaps she had misinterpreted the situation. Anything is possible. But it read to me like an excuse for sanctimony and the crowd split. Working moms were mostly furious and stay-at-home moms were on her side. "We would never put our children in childcare" was the message.
Did the original poster know it? Probably not. She probably had good intentions. But among mommies, good intentions almost always lead to anger and competition.
I have made a couple incredible mom friends (see photo), but they're harder to come by. Meanwhile I have met dozens and dozens of moms who find so many new ways to cut one another down. It's here as well. Post anything that others don't agree with and the insults fly.
There is no good reason for it. We all love our children and want the best for them, but we all have different interpretations of what that might be. One doesn't have to be wrong for the other to be right. We moms tend to forget that.
For women who were successful in business who quit to stay home with their children, it makes sense. That sense of competition has to go somewhere, right? When we make our children our entire world, though, it seems like we do both them (helicopter parenting, anyone?) and ourselves a great disservice.
The friends I love the most are the ones with whom I can momentarily remember who I was before kids, the ones with whom I can talk about sex and movies and politics. The one with whom I can laugh and gossip.
She is not the competi-mommy at the park.

Have you found competi-mommies hard to deal with?

this is a link to the original posting of this article

Sunday, September 19, 2010

answers to random strangers

let  me start this post by sayig i didn't write this one. i found this & would like to thank whoever it was that wrote this. i have no clue who wrote it
:) enjoy :)

Imagine yourself in this situation. You are a normal everyday parent. You believe in God or you don't. You send your children to public school or private school. You are living your life as normal as the next fella when circumstances arise and you find yourself making a decision you never thought you would have to ponder. You are deciding whether or not to homeschool your child(ren).

It may be that your child is having difficulty with rules and regulations at school. It may be that your public or private school has shut down. It may be that you or your spouse is now working afternoons and will never be able to see the kids. It may be because you found out that your child can go to college early if they homeschool...whatever reason, here you are contemplating Home Education of all things!

You are a normal gal or guy. You never really gave it much thought before now but the more you look into the idea the more you see that there are other normal people, just like yourself, who are having a wonderful time with this kind of lifestyle.

You jump in with both feet and begin your new life. You are enjoying the kids, though freaking out a little that YOU have decided to do this but other than that things are going along smoothly.

One day you are wandering around town, in the middle of the day with your children when "IT" happens. You and your children are minding your own business at the grocery store, park, field trip, zoo, museum, nature hike, play date, Science Center, or some other random social activity when a complete stranger walks up to YOU, taps YOU on the shoulder and says,

"Why aren't they in school? Did the school have a day off today?"

You are now staring at a random stranger contemplating your response. For the very first time you are forced to see yourself through their eyes. You now have to say...out loud...

"We are a homeschooling family."

You are about to experience the wonder and awe of the human mind. You are about to witness ignorance at its best. That random stranger, after hearing your answer, will react emotionally to YOUR family...whom they have never met before this if you have committed a purposeful attack on their very life. Yes, it will happen to YOU, my good friend.

After you have given your answer, the Random Stranger will say one of the following statements and you...YOU...could very well be standing there, stammering...wishing you had a response....but you won't! Why? Because you did not realize that you are now one of us!

You are now considered....dunn...dunnn....dunnn...."Not Normal!"

To other people you have morphed into whatever that specific person's idea of a homeschooler happens to be. YOU are..."that" homeschooler!!!

Some people understand that homeschooling is a difficult choice made by practical parents. Some may ask questions out of legitimate inquiry, but some people are flat rude, judgmental, nasty and they...need a jolt!

These answers are NOT funny...they are just true.


Random Stranger:
"Why aren't your children in school today? Did the school have a day off?"
"We are homeschoolers."

1. RS: "I don't have the patience for that. You must be a saint."
You: "If you are doing homework 2 to 3 hours a night, you're already doing it...welcome to Sainthood. We just don't have to do it after a hard day's work and we don't have the stress of having to get it done in some bureaucratic time-frame."

2. RS: "Is that legal?"
You: "Yes."

3. RS: "Do you have a teaching degree?"
You: "Do you have one? You are teaching your children every night when they bring homework to your home. Does your child's school have courses for parent's to take that will give them a degree to teach their own children...after the kids have been at school all day and are tired...and you are tired from working all day....and you now have to force them to get the work done on time, know it on time and memorize it on time or else? 'Cause....that's the degree I needed when our kids were in Public School."

4. RS: "Do you have a teaching degree?"
You: "Do you have hemorrhoids?"
(rude personal question begets rude personal question)

5. RS: "What gives you the right to do that?"
You: "Their birth certificate."

6. RS: "What about Socialization?"
You: "Between sports, camp, clubs, homeschool organizations and field trips we've decided we're going to have to cut back. We just have to decide where."

7. RS: "What about Socialization?"
You: "They weren't allowed to talk in class for 7 hours a day and only had 3 minutes between classes to chat, so we thought we'd take them out of that situation in the hope to teach them to socialize."

8. RS: "What about College."
You: "I know what you're thinking. You've heard about Harvard and Yale grabbing homeschoolers left and right and that colleges are now recruiting homeschoolers but we're not going to push that in our family. We're just going to send them to the local community college when they turn fourteen like many homeschooling families do. That way they can graduate homeschool with an associate degree when they are seventeen or eighteen instead of just starting their higher education."

9. RS: "You can't possibly teach them Algebra and Chemistry!"
You: "Do you remember your Algebra and Chemistry?"

10. RS: "You can't possibly teach them Algebra and Chemistry!"
You: "That's what the community college is for." or "That's what our Co-Op is for." or "That's what tutors are for." or "Sure I can." or get the drift

11. RS: "You are abandoning our public schools! It's our responsibility to fix the schools."
You: "Are you saying private schools need to fold also? The Public Schools get my taxes...they are not entitled to have my kids."

12. RS: "Why would you want to shelter your children like that?!"
You: "Shelter them as in keeping them in the same class with the same kids for 13 years, day after day, year after year?"

13. RS: "Why would you want to shelter your children like that?!"
You: " Well, the horse and buggy became too cumbersome so I learned how to drive a car. We go on field trips and outings nearly every week...unlike most traditionally educated children who may have a field trip once a year."

and my personal favorite...

14. RS: "My brother-in-law/sister-in-law/fiancee's cousin....Homeschools and their kids are bratty/stupid/too shy/too assertive/too fat/too skinny/lazy/clean house all day/talk too loud/breathe too hard/don't have any friends/talk to their friends way too much......

You: "Yes, I'm sure it's because they are homeschooled.....Public Schooled kids are perfect."

Saturday, September 11, 2010

fried chicken & firetrucks

friday is library day(not every friday). its a day filled with puppet shows & stories & playing with friends. friday is one of mommy's favorite days because it means i get to play with my friends too!

this particular friday was filled with firemen instead of puppets. no my monster didn't burn down the library. it has been safety month & this week they got to meet a couple of firemen, see the truck & learn about fire safety. the day started out easy enough, coloring a smoke detector &  talking about the sound they make. when we are done with out pitiful looking smoke alarms we move on to the other room where we get to meet the firemen. i predict as soon as i see the suit in the corner that my child is going to freak out major when she sees him suited up. they discuss the smoke alarms a lil more & talk about crawling under the smoke(which was demonstrated by the rookie of course). oh & by the way " what does it mean when the smoke alarm goes off?" any guesses "SUPPER IS DONE!".  as the young man begins to put his ominous looking fire suit on my sweet angel turns & looks at me with a look of sheer terror on her pale face. I WAS RIGHT!!! she had to get up from her seat & come to where i was so she could be held  so that she would not start screaming. i had to keep reminding her that it was still the fireman under all stuff.  finally he removes his garb & she is fine, very disinterested looking but fine.they venture outside to take a tour of the fire truck. i thought my kid would be excited since she LOVES firetrucks boy was i wrong. she still has this genuine look of complete detachment form the activity. we take pictures & she is half smiling in just one photograph. they are just about to get to climb all over the huge truck like little monkeys when the firemen get a call & have to hurry & leave.  they pull out of the library parking lot with lights flashing, sirens roaring & my kid still looking bored beyond belief. the truck gets out of sight & you can hear the horn bellow loudly as they get into traffic & my child perks up smiling & says "mommy, the firetruck i hear it!!". yup after it leaves she gets excited!

off to lunch we go. we head off to our usual spot. we congregate at the BK since it is the ONLY one with a play area now. we take over  the restaurant causing chaos & disorder. our group is so vast that we take up 3 tables, 2 for kiddos & 1 for adults (what no we are not outnumbered) smack in the middle of the room of course.  we have our lunch & chat while the monsters play & make small attempts at eating their food. i at my nearly burnt chicken fries with no complaints, that happens when you are enjoying the conversation  as much as i was. it also happens that when you are really enjoying the conversation you tend to not notice what your children are up to, as we quickly learned. this snooty much older woman walks up to us & begins to reprimand us telling us we need to get our kids because they are being far to rowdy(she was very rude about it too. apparently this sensitive little girl (her grand daughter) got in the middle of where the boys were playing & jumping around & she started to cry. i had to walk out of the room to preserve what little shred of decency i had left because i was trying so hard to not say what i wanted to say to her. what i wanted to say was something like this " lady its not our fault if she is so caught in your apron strings she doesn't know how to play with other children." or maybe "its not our problem is she is a crybaby now is it"  but instead of being snarky i removed myself from the situation :) 
later at the same location my tiny hellion  is playing with the straw from her drink. this ends badly of course. she somehow manages to poke another child in the eye with her straw. the poor girl is crying & mine seems clueless as to what has happened. i end up putting her in an extended time-out. during her time-out she gets up several times trying to play & i have to put her back on her seat. finally the crying stops & i let her get up. by now the i pad has been brought out & they are playing games on it. shortly , all of the smaller kiddos are having melt downs & its time to leave.

next stop wal-mart. we unload & make our way inside kiddos in hand. people staring as we load them into one of those giant carts with the extra seats. we meet up with the rest of the gang & begin our collective jaunt around the super store. it was kind of like when the house fell on the witch & dorthy & toto came out, yeah that same kind of whisper & shock as we strolled the isles with our sweet babies. ok so let me skip to the juicy bit. we are standing in front of the book section & the kids have each found a title that peaks their interest & have began to read. my lil dear is sitting in the floor, quietly, admiring a book with flaps & hidden pictures along with her best friend(the one with the eye she nearly poked out). they are being sweet angel babies  & people are making snotty comments from afar!! can you believe it?? so i chirp up & say " what, of course my kid has to read the books when we cone to wal-mart. we ain't got no books at home." which is a bald face lie since we have a classroom stuffed with all types of books. my kid just loves to read & i love to make rude comments, we are a match made in heaven.

all in all we had a marvelous day with everyone & i wish we could do it more often. oh how life gets in the way of fun.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Monkey Shorts

ok, so the other day i went with my sister-in-law to "town" & my kid was totally inexplicably insane!! we started our lil trip with a visit to clothing store #1 where she decided it would be fun to touch the clothes with the bottoms of her filthy shoes. yup, you read that right, the bottoms of her filthy, nasty, disgusting shoes!! i was holding her so she could not run around the store like some little heathen child, BUT, she decides to hold her legs straight out so that her feet touch the clothes. before we leave she has managed to get down & rummage the racks of clothes, touch EVERY pair of shoes in the building, & try on ALL the jewelry. so we are off to lunch where she is fairly calm, wiggly but calm. 
clothing store #2 brings waves of newly found energy to my tiny monster! she is grabbing wallets off shelves, sampling the perfumes, spinning the jewelry racks, & sprinting in the skirt section. by this time i have lost all composure & am about to snap.  she is like the energizer bunny, she keeps going & going & going. i can't take it any more so i shamefully haul the tiny tyrant outside to wait for her aunt to finish shopping.
our last stop is a shoe store. GREAT!! my child loves shoes. i mean, LOVES shoes with a fiery burning passion. big shoes, little shoes, ugly shoes it doesn't matter as long as she can get them on her feet. we get in the poor unwitting shoe store & i find a bench to sit her on & tell her not to move. yeah so much for that wasted breath. i am helping my sister-in-law find a  pair of shoes & i look back at my kiddo & she is up trying on shoes, sitting there in the isle on the floor with about 3 pairs of shoes. i tell her no & put her back on her seat. this happens about 4 million times before we leave the store & i have single handedly restocked nearly the entire children's section. FINALLY its time to go. i have never been so ready to get out of a shoe store in my entire life. i was so ready to just get back home so she could be free to reign down her special brand of horror in a less public setting. by the time we ogt home all i wanted to do was take
a nap. i was frustrated & worn out like a pair of smelly gym
shoes. i opened thefront door of my lovely, wonderful, familiar
house & remembered....i still had to clean house before the hubby got home!