Friday, December 3, 2010

a word from our sponsor....

ok...so ...if you never noticed.....i have a ton of other super duper cool way awesome blogs from other people (yeah not mine, one makes my brain wanna ooze out my ear) listed on here. off to the side in a lil list i like to call ...dun dun dun...OTHER GREATNESS.....**insert round of applause**

you really should check out some of the greatness of others i have listed! they totally ROCK!! this is probably the most random & assorted list you will find in your lifetime & that of your children & your children's children. has anyone noticed i like to use the symbol  & a whole lot....yeah well i do....its kind of pretty....it makes me happy...so do ***....& these........
thank you for your time & enjoy reading all the super nifty blogs i find :) i am always adding new ones so check in often. if you would like your blog featured here leave a comment & will be more than glad to add your greatness.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

turkey & dressing & pie...oh my!

ok so i think we just had a holiday or something...well there were people clogging up my living room anyway.

is it just me are holidays not the same anymore...oh wait they aren't  & i think i know why...I AM AN ADULT NOW...thats right i almost forgot about that. this year i had to cook & then clean up the mess not just go out & play football or something like that. i have been told that next year i am in charge of the turkey...yeah you read that right..me cooking a turkey...yup...everyone back away from the kitchen & grab the safety gear!!


our thanksgiving was kinda crazy people had to work & other people had places to be. the monster is picky & only wants food if it is on someone else's plate. i don't know what it is but she she will eat a bite or 2 off of her own plate say she is full & go mooch off the plate next to her....for example, we ate lunch at church today & she had her very own plate of wonderful looking food to have all to her lil ol self BUT she eats one thing off it & turns to her granny & eats her food...why do kids do this?

i can't wait for christmas. i love the look the monster gets on her face when she opens presents! she is always genuinely surprised & LOVES everything she gets.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

zombies in the stuffing

its cold outside again & its getting to be that special time of year... you know that time of year kids LOVE & parents LOATHE....the holidays silly! much like birthdays this coming couple of months is highly over rated & needs to be rethought. 

i remember as a kid getting those butterflies in my stomach counting down the school days that were left until thanksgiving & then the BIG holiday...CHRISTMAS....i just couldn't wait. we always made calendars to count down the days we had left until holiday break & posted then on the side of our desk. it seems like our goal for the year was to see how quickly we could get from one holiday to the next. we never counted the days until we went back to school after holiday break or wished the days would fly by so we could go back to class. the holidays were our main priority & we loved every minute of them. now it seems like as soon as school started we were counting down the days we had for thanksgiving....we proable did since haloween decorations are being put out in the stores while we are still going swimming & the fall decor is not to far behind that with christmas sprinkled in the mix. when you are a kid it can feel like there is only a 2 week delay in between the holidays.

when i think back  i remember gathering at my grandparents house to eat with all of my family on thanksgiving & how as i got older that large number of family slowly dwindled to just a few.   we had so much fun running & playing outside waiting on the food to be ready. there was nothing better than that time we spent together.
as an adult i miss the times shared with family members both good & bad...you never really know what you had until its gone.  when   was a kid it was less about the commercials of it all & more about that quality time. thanksgiving was about being thankful we had each other. now you spend so much time making sure you have the right brand turkey to go with your perfect brand stuffing that you are going to sit on your uptight brand table runner that you forget you already have all that you need to be thankful...your family & friends!!!
this year at my house people have to work & it is going to be hard for everyone to squeeze this holiday in but i hope we can still have tine to remember how thankful we are to have each other & what the day REALLY  means to us all. turkey & dressing & pie is not what it means....love & family & the fact that we all woke up that morning is what is all about.

one of my favorite holidays has always been christmas. i love putting up the tree...yes the actual act of having to put it together...yup you got it the labor intensive part is my favorite. i like going & looking at other people's christmas lights....driving slowly through strange neighborhoods can actually be relaxing. as a kid i my favorite part was waking up & seeing all of my presents under the tree....as an adult my favorite part is seeing my daughter's eyes when she sees her presents under the tree. 

we all have different ideas about christmas. if you are a christian (like me) you honor this holiday as the birth of christ ....most people however just like the idea of getting presents in an elaborate fashion. in my family we try to fit in jesus, presents & giving to others all in this time....it can get CRAZY sometimes. 

when i was a kid my mom always had the tree you didn't touch....& touch you did not for fear of her breaking you before you broke her ornaments. this is the first year we have had an actual christmas tree at our house since the monster has been born. the last few years we have had mini trees & had them up where she could not touch. now we have a big tree that was my mom's & it is going to be decorated in child friendly decorations. the monster is making her own ornaments this year! yup...our tree is flammable so keep 911 on speed dial...oh wait...i am not putting lights on it...so never mind its safe....i hope.
the craft time ornaments are part of my plan to keep her out of the commercial end of christmas. i want her to realize at an early age that christmas is not about getting but giving  & being thankful for what you already have. we might even start doing one of the shoe boxes for a needy kid or a christmas angel. we get her very few gifts & try to tell her the christmas story many times over the holidays. we really wan to avoid the problems so many parents have with kids expecting certian gifts on christmas morning & then being rude when they don't get them.

i really hope that we can raise a kind, generous & loving monster instead of a gift hoarding video game lover.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

how to mop: as taught by a 3yr old

i now know how my mother felt when she tried to get me to clean my room all those years. i can't believe a kid can live in a room as messy as the monster keeps her lair! its horrific they state that place stays in most days. i can clean it & with in a 30 minute period it looks the same way it did before  i cleaned it up. it is completely useless to try to clean a childs room.

i recently found myself complaining  about the amount of sand & random trash on the monster's bedroom floor. of course i had to clean her disaster area...wait i mean bedroom...just so i could find the floor in the first place. it looked like someone had missed a target in iraq & hit her room instead! this place was a MESS!! she has s lot of small toys...toys that are SUPPOSED to be in bins in an orderly fashion...my mother likes to get her happy meals & make sure the toys find their way to my house....& pillows...she has more pillows than bed, bath & beyond! my child's idea of organization is having everything spread out in the floor so she can see her mighty kingdom sprawled out before her.

so, i finally get her room clean & we are having dinner with our neighbors...the three smallest kiddos are in the monster's room playing & watching cartoons. we are all enjoying our dinner & watching a movie  then the hubby goes to check on the kiddos that have suddenly fell rather silent for a group of kids their age. the hubby comes back & urges me & our neighbor to go peek in on the little darlings....they had gotten the hand soap out of the bathroom & were spreading it all over the floor. "we want to slip & slide!!" "look at us!!" one even took off  socks & shoes & applied soap to feet & replaced shoes & socks to save it for when they got home. it was horrible, they had used over half of the bottle of soap on the floor. they were handed rags & made to clean up the mess that they had made. the rags they used had to be washed twice to get all the soap out. we still don't know which of the three came up with the scheme to slip & slide on the bedroom floor...all parties involved are presumed guilty until proven innocent :)

presto...instant mopped floor!

Monday, November 1, 2010

who are you...

i can remember wearing a store bought halloween costume twice in my entire life. the first one was none other than the amazing WONDER WOMAN...i was like five...it had the flimsy plastic mask that you could cut yourself on & the plastic jumpsuit. the second one was a super crappy witch thing, it was SUPPOSED to look like the wicked witch from sleeping beauty...it did no such thing however.  the rest of my trick-or-treat career i was dressed in homemade costumes. my go to outfit you may be asking yourself...why a witch of course! i have done the green face, fake nose & any other witchy thing you can think of. i play the part well.


fast forward more than a few years & now its my kids turn to dress up for halloween. her very first time she was like 4  or 5 months old & she was a fairy...made wings & a wand for her...she was super cute!!  her second halloween she was a princess..her gown cam from her very own collection of dress up clothes. this year she has been a chicken for a costume party (i got the chicken outfit from a thrift store) & she has been trick-or-treating twice as lola luftnagle. yes, lola from hanna montana....she picked it out...lola is nothing but a wig & some clothes out of the monster's closet....she was also a rockstar, which vaguely resmebled the lola get up. sha has not wanted to take off the purple wig except to sleep & to shower.
guess what i was....oh you are no fun....yes i was a witch...as usual.

for all you kiddies too young to know about the early haloween costumes, here are a couple of pictures of one like the wonder woman one i had. yes that says the suit is made from VINYL!! that is PLASTIC kids....talk about sweating for ya candy...you could sure do it in one of these puppies!  they were so great though.  costumes have come such a long way!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

monster tag

i often long for the days when a simple game of tag or hide & seek was the highlight of the weekend. running around with friends, screaming, & having a great time. we all remember being little & playing a good game of tag with whoever would join in.

ok,  so we all remember the way you are supposed to play tag. BUT...you have never played tag with the monster!

tonite we were sitting in the living room eating dinner when the monster decides she wants to play tag. she turns around looks at her nini & says "TAG YOU'RE IT!!"....out of nowhere like some random crazy person.  we played a very stationary game of tag for about fifteen minutes or longer. the monster was thrilled to pieces!! i never imagined playing tag from the couch would be any fun but it really was. the monster laughed till she couldn't breathe  anymore. somewhere in the midst of this exciting game the hubby  got up to walk to the trashcan & on the way back he bumped into the monster  & she in turn bumped into the wall. she cried for a minute & then looks up at her daddy & says "TAG YOU'RE IT!!"

Monday, October 25, 2010

faith, hope & charity are grounded & can't play with you!

faith, hope & charity have died. america killed them a long long time ago. i can hear you saying "oh gosh, she is nuts!", "she is soo unpartiotic!", "she must be a foreigner!"....nope i am none of those things...well except the nuts part maybe.

just because we adopt poor starving babies from africa, donate to the ASPCA of germany, send money to that last place that was flooded or send socks to the people of whosawhatickstan does not make us good. if we were really & i mean really good (not the good that we do for show or just on sunday at church because we are supposed to) we would feed the poor kid we saw at the texaco begging for change to get a soda on thursday. 


in my opinion its more  important to help your neighbor that is in need & then help the people in other countries. charity starts at HOME people!


chances are you know someone that is having trouble with the everyday things like bills & groceries....help them & then see if you have enough left to adopt that african kid or to send to whuckwierdistania for that toxic mold thing.


i know many families that could use a little help here & there. not lazy people that just want a free ride like so many that are sucking up the government assistance & still driving big gas sucking SUVs with shiny new rims & eating steaks.  if you live with your momma & drive an escalade with 30 inch rims you need to get outta the food stamp line & let the single mom with kids & full time job & bills to pay get in your place! quit lying to get help you don't really need...you are helping destroy the country.


oh, did i mention you have no idea if that money you send that poor starving kid in whichever country you picked is even being used for that child...sure you get a sweet little picture of some hungry looking child of that nationality & a cutesy thank you letter & short biography about them...i could be send you that crap & you wouldn't know it was from ME....that money could be funding terrorism! you have not been to duckdarnistan & don't know how the people live...what if you took a trip there & saw that kid you "adopted" from the tv eating a steak & chugging a beer & really being 30 or 40 years old with a good job & 4 kids...wouldn't you feel silly??



now, i am NOT saying you shouldn't want to help people from other countries & all that...thats not it at all. i just want you to see the need in your community FIRST then help the other people of the world. wouldn't it feel better to know your hard earned money was helping someone you actually knew & could see & speak to in person than someone you will never be able to meet?  times are hard for a lot of people still & will continue to be for quiet some time in the future....help someone on your street, in your town, or your state. if we all helped each other there would be no need for government assistance programs like food stamps & housing & energy assistance. treat your neighbors like family...the family you invite to thanksgiving not the ones you "forget" to invite.



there are many churches that can't keep enough food in their food panty to help the community & keep those few people going for that month....donate some can goods to help them out. volunteer someplace or something crazy like that. help the old guy across the street rake his leaves & see if he has something to eat for dinner tonite.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

please leave a message at the beep.............

you have reached the the offices of monster & monster incorporated. we will not be available for the next few days so please leave a message & we will get back to you as soon as possible. we are sorry for the inconvenience.





ok, so not really sorry about it...but it sounded nice didn't it. my mom has the monster for the weekend & its just me & the hubby for the next couple of days. i have every intention to sleep in late & be lazy. the harsh reality is that i might sleep a lil later but i will have to clean house & do all the stuff i didn't get the chance to do during the week.




don't get me wrong now...i LOVE keeping #2 during the week but it can really wear me out sometimes. all that running & playing & question asking & running & playing & doing worksheets & running & playing & asking questions. this week i had my monster, #2, & a 2month old...i am so not used to that....much more & my brain might explode(well what is left of it anyway) that would just be messy & i don't wanna clean it up. so yeah don't get the wrong idea & think i hate having kids around or anything like that becasue you would be WAAAYYY off!!  it can just be mentally draining is all i am saying. ask any teacher or daycare worker. let me ask you five million questions & see if you don't need a vacation.

Monday, October 18, 2010

oh wait, i think my head exploded...let me clean that up :)

oh my...i need to vent. brace yourself. this has been a rough week. it seems like everything that could go wrong went wrong & then some. thursday was a bit of an over achiever. friday was ok, thanks to my mom & a special person that i shall refer to as the bestie. saturday was just kinda numb.

ok, let me start at the beginning...monday was ...ummmmm...yeah so i don't remember monday so we shall move on to tuesday. tuesday was....other than it being the second day of the week i have no memory of that day either. lets try wednesday. wednesday... wednesday...wednesday... holy carbs batman! i don't remember that one either...oops...well i told you it was a rough week.


so let me tell you about the wonderful thursday i had. the day started out like any other...i got up at 6am & waited for #2 to arrive just like i do every morning. so after a lot of waiting #2's mom finally pulls up in my dimly lit front yard with a screaming & crying #2 in tow. 
 turned out he didn't get his candy bar because he did not want to brush his teeth. welp...this is kinda how the rest of the day was. screaming & crying & telling on one another. the monster & #2 practically fought over the air they were breathing. everything about it was completely ridiculous ... totally... utterly... 100% pure insanity!!! they couldn't be in the same room for longer than five minutes without having a problem of some sort. they fought over what cup the other was going to drink out of, where the monster's camo jacket came from, if it was actually in fact HER jacket, who was gonna drive the four wheeler, if the other one was hungry, & what they wanted to eat...the list could go on & on & on. i finally found a solution to my delima...NAP TIME...or so i thought...#2 took a nap but the monster however did not & she was out to get on my very last nerve apparently. she got into everything & tried her hardest to wake up #2.

i am not sure what i have done in my life that was bad enough to deserve that day as punishment but i pray i can be forgiven cause it must have been horrible whatever it was.


lets move on to friday since it was not nearly as horrific as my thursday.
i didn't have #2 on friday so i got to spend a lil time with the monster. my mom the monster & me went to the library to catch the puppet show (got there early so we wouldn't miss it) they did a rendition of "the lil red hen" that was kind of awesome, complete with special effects.  oh, did i mention i met the bestie there that morning after not seeing her for a whole week..so that was nice & brightened my day. the kiddos sat together during the puppet show & did their crafty thingy together too. the bestie's lil fireball &  my monster are like peas & carrots when they get together..its super cute. after the puppet show we did some shopping at the thrift stores in town & the bestie did the most awesome thing she could have ever done...she took the monster with her to lunch & to play with her lil fireball!!! she let me have some time off!!! the bestie is the GREATEST EVER!! she rescued me after my horrible thursday..what more could you want in a friend!?!?  so me & mom did some shopping & had lunch at a grown up restaurant (it didn't have a play ground inside it) ...it was awesome, like to the max!  after my grown up lunch we all met back up & spent some quality time shopping time together before the bestie had to split.  so with a little help friday turned out much better than my mind numbing thursday.



saturday turned out to be pretty good....except that my brain was still on vacation which meant i could not remember anything or do much of anything right. BUT i got to spend some quality time with the hubby.  our lil monster was basicaly pretty good that day too.
sunday turned out nice, thank the heavens above. i even got to hang out with my mother-in-law some. oh & spent a lil time with my awesome "new" neighbors too....the kids played we talked & it was wonderful. 
now if the construction on my house would stop soon i might make it to see next weekend.






Tuesday, October 12, 2010

fire in the hole...

i remember when i was little i loved to play outside. i could stay outside for hours & hours...also known as locked out of the house (which was ok back then). i could come up with all kinds of games & things to play all by myself. what has happened to kids today? now kids can barely go to the mailbox without turn by turn directions...not that most of them know what a real mailbox even looks like...yeah the real ones that you can touch not the email kind. 

where i am going with  this you may be asking yourself....ants, that is where i am going....my kid is allergic to the lil buggers!  today we had to make an appointment to see her doc because she was bitten & her foot was swollen from it. yup, ants, just your regular everyday ants...ok fire ants maybe but ants either way ya go.  she had 4 or 5 bites on her foot & it  was swollen pretty bad they gave her an antibiotic & some stuff to rub on it...the same stuff they gave her for her diaper rash. after this she is no longer allowed outside with no shoes. the horrible thing about this is that where we live there are tons of ants. the evil little things are everywhere here!! i have never seen a place that had as many ants, well besides an ant farm.
i felt kinda dumb calling the doctor's office this morning about some ant bites. but ya gotta do what ya gotta do i guess. the nurses didn't act like i was insane though so that helped my ego a little. however, i do think they expected something a tiny bit more gruesome than we had to offer them one we got there. by the afternoon the swelling was begining to subside, not much,which it made the bite a smidge less impressive to those in the medical proffesion.

on the bright side of things we have the meds & the foot is getting back to normal now. maybe we can stay away from satan's tiny minions for a while :)

Saturday, October 9, 2010

stickers, eggs & lots of attitude

 ya ever wondered where your kids gets their attitude from? haha, me too....but, according to my mom the monster is exactly like me when i was her age....mom i thought you always said i was a good kid?  yeah, so now i know my mom has a foggy perception of my childhood.

when you take my child somewhere you should be prepared to wish you had a roll of duct tape for her hands & mouth...and maybe her feet too. she will try to touch EVERYTHING(and succeed at it) & will talk endlessly about nothing & not make any sense to anyone over 6.  she makes millions of excuses to get out of the buggy when you go to wal-mart, her two faves are "i gotta potty." & "i wanna be holded.", she is good at faking you out too. she thinks that she NEEDS everything she sees while you are in a store.  i admit she is a lil spoiled, but she is an only child so that is expected. i don't call her the monster for nuthin :)


this is gonna sound like a commercial but here goes anyways.....
the lil monster has been playing what she thinks are games online for the past few weeks. really what she is doing are reading lessons on readingeggs.com she calls it sam. all i hear is "i wanna play sam!!" or " can i play sam now??"  we have been using a free trial (which runs out the 23rd) you can get a 2year subscription to it for $80. i really think i am gonna buy it for her since she loves it so much & is really learning from it. she now recognizes most of the alphabet & can tell you what letter lots of words start with. when she is playing she can even read some of the words all by herself! its super awesome! even #2 likes it. ok back to your regularly scheduled programming.

the monster & #2 have been doing worksheets for the last 2weeks. they have killed my paper supply & are quickly running me out of ink(will take donations). the only thing #2 likes better than worksheets are gummy snacks, playing outside runs a super close 3rd. we have been working on colors, letters, numbers & anything else i can find that i think they will have fun doing. some of it is a step back for my monster but we all need to review sometimes & she does other stuff after he leaves too. the other day the lil monster did almost 30 worksheets all together. i print enough for them to have some the next day but they do them ALL...they actually ask to do another & another & another...its crazy!!maybe once they get this silly alphabet mess over with i can get them started on some stuff that is more fun like history, spelling & latin....maybe i can get them into college at age 6 or heck maybe 5 who knows....the possibilities are endless.   i am so happy that they love learning.
thursday i made them charts for behavior. i went back & gave stickers for the rest of the week & #2 has all of his stickers but the monster is missing a few....surprise surprise huh. i really hope the charts will be incentive enough to help the lil monster be...umm...less of a monster....yeah we shall see.

Monday, October 4, 2010

crayons & rollercoasters

hi. welcome to wacko land. i will be your tour guide. please keep your hands & feet & ears & noses inside the ride at all times.

ok, now that all of that is out of the way, let me tell you about the events of the past few ummmm.....days, weeks, whatever it has been(who is counting anyways?).

i have added a new monster to the repertoire, we shall call him #2(yeah a boy, go figure). not its not mine! so pick up your jaw. #2 belongs to a couple that live a few houses down from us. he is a nice kid & 95% of the time the monster gets along with him. #2 enjoys abusing bicycles & playing in the dirt & asking a quadrillion and one questions.

we attempted to go see the puppet show at the library on friday. this was somewhat of a flop. the monsters were really hyped up for it & just couldn't wait to see the puppets & do the dinky craft. we arrive at 10:37am ,the show was supposed to start at 10:30am, but this fateful morning it started at 10am instead. we missed the show but got to color a picture of a cookie. #2 was very disappointed. after everyone left i read them a couple of books & after we went to burger king so they could play.


a new week began with the pair of monsters & so came a new plan. i printed out worksheets, planned a game  & hoped for the best with fingers crossed. eventhough this week beagan on a monday it did not effect my plan. the monsters we basically good & did the works sheets & played the game. they even watched a movie & played outside.  this is #2's first encounter with the world of worksheets & what not so i had no clue what to expect. luckily #2 was excited about this new adventure i was about to take him on.  we are also working on #2's manners, please & thank you are just not his cup of tea.


oh, did i menttion i met my "new" neighbor? yeah well i did & her 4 kids too. the monster & neighbor's little girl get along famously & i think are now best friends. we even went over & roasted marshmallows, it was super awesome! i think the future holds many interesting things with this "new" neighbor.


now don't let me forget the rollercoaster that is my sister-in-law's dating life. that makes me wanna hurl worse than anything at six flags ever could. its up then its down the up & down & up & up & down & up & all around. makes me glad i am no longer a teenager trying to find mr. right or mr. right now or whatever it is girls today are looking for.


here is an interesting tid bit for ya.....
i have a ginormous bucket of crayons that i have had for hundreds of years (i think christopher columbus used them to make his map of america). you would think it would be simple to reach in & grab any color you needed out of this monstrosity. NO!!! its not that simple...you dig & dig & dig & you can't find the basic colors....red, blue, green, yellow, orange, brown, black....not in this bucket anywhere...pink, fuchsia, teal, purple mountian's majesty, peacock, macaroni & cheese, puce, blazin berry....those are the kinds of colors you find in my crayon bucket...if its glittery or neon i got it in 3's baby!! makes teaching the basic colors kinda hard just incase you were wondering about that.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

not so local terrorism

ok, so, we went with the sister-in-law to mongotmery today. yup you heard me i took the monster out of town. the day started off ok but as the day progressed that all changed.

we ALMOST woke up late but i managed to drag my lazy self out of bed just in the nick of time. i managed to get a shower in record time(pretty sure it was under 5 minutes). i got myself & the monster dressed & ready to leave before my sister-in-law got her to pick us up, which NEVER happens.

 now we are off on our little journey. we make a brief stop for gas but then we are on the road again. the monster is basically good the whole way there. basically, all except for the nonstop talking. half way there she just stopped making any sense at all. she was content as long as her nini played "the bah bah song" (blah blah blah by ke$ha)

we have made it in one piece to the mall!! yay for us!

let the terrorism commence! we reach sears & pick up the glasses that were the whole point of our little rendezvous. everyone has skipped breakfast so we make our way to the food court. the lovely ladies at our favorite chinese place are busy handing out samples of the day's fare, naturally we have try all of them before deciding. we make our purchases & scan for a good place to sit(when you have a 3yr old its natural to pick a seat next to the trash cans). the monster picks form both of our plates & very quicky decides she is full.
we trash our empty plates & head to our first store.

we make the mistake of taking the little diva in claire's. she LOVES jewlery & hats & purses & shoes. the monster is in heaven! the can't decide what to touch first. she quickly finds some dora & princess...umm CRAP...in the back of the store. meanwhile in the front of the store, my sister-in-law is getting her ears pierced or should i say RE pierced & not just her ears the cartilage at the top. she had this pireced once before at wal-mart(a BIG no no)it got infected & had to be taken out. the ears get their new "bling" & we are out of monster heaven. if you buy anythign from claire's in the eastdale mall be warned it most likely has monster germs all over it!

i accidentally take the tiny terrorist into a store that sells nothing but little girls clothes. she gets all ADD in this one too, well worse actually. she trys to play with all the toys that are on display & acts like she has never seen candy before(mommy, look at dis! mommy, look what i found!)i don't think i got really look at anything due to prying her off of random store diaplays.

we try to venture through the mall to another store or two but don't stay in any one store for very long because of the terrorism that occurs in each one. people really look at you funny when your kid is using their outside voice in a small store. we also make a trip or a four to the restroom at the pleading of the monster. the phrase "mommy, i gotta peeee!" gets funny looks too.

i wanted so bad to buy the monster something to add to her ever expanding wardrobe but kept being told by the sister-in-law i need to buy something for myself. i took her advice & bought a giant soft pretzel on the way out.

we managed to make it out of the mall without having to stop at the "ferris wheel"(aka the carousel). we only escaped that wait in line becasue i had told the monshter we would on the way out & then the sister-in-law quickly came up with "we can't sweetie. they closed it." & suprisingly the monster was ok with that somehow.

we made it all day with minimal fussing & fighting. ok so not ALL day, just until we got back home. for some reason when we get home she let everyone have it. thankfully i had a headache & took a nap. she woke me up when she cam in screaming & crying because she couldn't go to church with her granny. it was a women's meeting so she had to stay home(no children's church).

all in all a good day out with the monster. 
it always could have been worse.

competi-mommies

ok, so once again not an original but still super awesome.....

Why Are So Many 'Mom Friends' Mean Girls?

Posted by Sasha Brown-Worsham
on September 22, 2010 at 10:15 AM

When you're pregnant, especially if you're among the first of your friends to go, you will inevitably hear about all the new mom friends you will make.
Yeah, good luck with that.
From almost the moment I walked out of delivery, I was greeted by competition: "My baby could sit up and speak Swahili at 4 months!"; envy: "You must just have a really fast metabolism. Most moms take 10 years to lose the baby weight"; sanctimony: "Oh my. It must be lovely to have the time to get pedicures but since I'm busy actually caring for my children, I let my toenails grow wild and yellowed"; snobbery: "Are you the nanny or the mommy?"; and passive aggression.
This video(watch at the bottom of the page) sums it up quite nicely. But where are our answers? Why are moms so keen to cut one another down?
Every day in the park, I see the new moms tentatively approach the veterans, trying to make conversation and I see this happen. On my moms' Listserv, women make subtle (and not-so-subtle) digs at one another almost constantly.
A few weeks ago, one mom wrote a post telling the rest of us something she had seen at the park -- a child being mistreated by a daycare center in the area of town in which many of us use childcare -- that was very upsetting to her. In the moment, she did nothing to stop it, but that did not stop her from posting about it on the list.
Perhaps she had misinterpreted the situation. Anything is possible. But it read to me like an excuse for sanctimony and the crowd split. Working moms were mostly furious and stay-at-home moms were on her side. "We would never put our children in childcare" was the message.
Did the original poster know it? Probably not. She probably had good intentions. But among mommies, good intentions almost always lead to anger and competition.
I have made a couple incredible mom friends (see photo), but they're harder to come by. Meanwhile I have met dozens and dozens of moms who find so many new ways to cut one another down. It's here as well. Post anything that others don't agree with and the insults fly.
There is no good reason for it. We all love our children and want the best for them, but we all have different interpretations of what that might be. One doesn't have to be wrong for the other to be right. We moms tend to forget that.
For women who were successful in business who quit to stay home with their children, it makes sense. That sense of competition has to go somewhere, right? When we make our children our entire world, though, it seems like we do both them (helicopter parenting, anyone?) and ourselves a great disservice.
The friends I love the most are the ones with whom I can momentarily remember who I was before kids, the ones with whom I can talk about sex and movies and politics. The one with whom I can laugh and gossip.
She is not the competi-mommy at the park.

Have you found competi-mommies hard to deal with?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikvcS3Oe-oA


this is a link to the original posting of this article
http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/109748/why_are_so_many_mom

Sunday, September 19, 2010

answers to random strangers

let  me start this post by sayig i didn't write this one. i found this & would like to thank whoever it was that wrote this. i have no clue who wrote it
:) enjoy :)

Imagine yourself in this situation. You are a normal everyday parent. You believe in God or you don't. You send your children to public school or private school. You are living your life as normal as the next fella when circumstances arise and you find yourself making a decision you never thought you would have to ponder. You are deciding whether or not to homeschool your child(ren).

It may be that your child is having difficulty with rules and regulations at school. It may be that your public or private school has shut down. It may be that you or your spouse is now working afternoons and will never be able to see the kids. It may be because you found out that your child can go to college early if they homeschool...whatever reason, here you are contemplating Home Education of all things!

You are a normal gal or guy. You never really gave it much thought before now but the more you look into the idea the more you see that there are other normal people, just like yourself, who are having a wonderful time with this kind of lifestyle.

You jump in with both feet and begin your new life. You are enjoying the kids, though freaking out a little that YOU have decided to do this but other than that things are going along smoothly.

One day you are wandering around town, in the middle of the day with your children when "IT" happens. You and your children are minding your own business at the grocery store, park, field trip, zoo, museum, nature hike, play date, Science Center, or some other random social activity when a complete stranger walks up to YOU, taps YOU on the shoulder and says,


"Why aren't they in school? Did the school have a day off today?"

You are now staring at a random stranger contemplating your response. For the very first time you are forced to see yourself through their eyes. You now have to say...out loud...


"We are a homeschooling family."

You are about to experience the wonder and awe of the human mind. You are about to witness ignorance at its best. That random stranger, after hearing your answer, will react emotionally to YOUR family...whom they have never met before this conversation....as if you have committed a purposeful attack on their very life. Yes, it will happen to YOU, my good friend.

After you have given your answer, the Random Stranger will say one of the following statements and you...YOU...could very well be standing there, stammering...wishing you had a response....but you won't! Why? Because you did not realize that you are now one of us!



You are now considered....dunn...dunnn....dunnn...."Not Normal!"

To other people you have morphed into whatever that specific person's idea of a homeschooler happens to be. YOU are..."that" homeschooler!!!

Some people understand that homeschooling is a difficult choice made by practical parents. Some may ask questions out of legitimate inquiry, but some people are flat rude, judgmental, nasty and they...need a jolt!


These answers are NOT funny...they are just true.



HOMESCHOOLING ANSWERS TO RANDOM STRANGERS


Random Stranger:
"Why aren't your children in school today? Did the school have a day off?"
You:
"We are homeschoolers."

1. RS: "I don't have the patience for that. You must be a saint."
You: "If you are doing homework 2 to 3 hours a night, you're already doing it...welcome to Sainthood. We just don't have to do it after a hard day's work and we don't have the stress of having to get it done in some bureaucratic time-frame."


2. RS: "Is that legal?"
You: "Yes."

3. RS: "Do you have a teaching degree?"
You: "Do you have one? You are teaching your children every night when they bring homework to your home. Does your child's school have courses for parent's to take that will give them a degree to teach their own children...after the kids have been at school all day and are tired...and you are tired from working all day....and you now have to force them to get the work done on time, know it on time and memorize it on time or else? 'Cause....that's the degree I needed when our kids were in Public School."

4. RS: "Do you have a teaching degree?"
You: "Do you have hemorrhoids?"
(rude personal question begets rude personal question)

5. RS: "What gives you the right to do that?"
You: "Their birth certificate."

6. RS: "What about Socialization?"
You: "Between sports, camp, clubs, homeschool organizations and field trips we've decided we're going to have to cut back. We just have to decide where."

7. RS: "What about Socialization?"
You: "They weren't allowed to talk in class for 7 hours a day and only had 3 minutes between classes to chat, so we thought we'd take them out of that situation in the hope to teach them to socialize."

8. RS: "What about College."
You: "I know what you're thinking. You've heard about Harvard and Yale grabbing homeschoolers left and right and that colleges are now recruiting homeschoolers but we're not going to push that in our family. We're just going to send them to the local community college when they turn fourteen like many homeschooling families do. That way they can graduate homeschool with an associate degree when they are seventeen or eighteen instead of just starting their higher education."

9. RS: "You can't possibly teach them Algebra and Chemistry!"
You: "Do you remember your Algebra and Chemistry?"

10. RS: "You can't possibly teach them Algebra and Chemistry!"
You: "That's what the community college is for." or "That's what our Co-Op is for." or "That's what tutors are for." or "Sure I can." or ...you get the drift

11. RS: "You are abandoning our public schools! It's our responsibility to fix the schools."
You: "Are you saying private schools need to fold also? The Public Schools get my taxes...they are not entitled to have my kids."

12. RS: "Why would you want to shelter your children like that?!"
You: "Shelter them as in keeping them in the same class with the same kids for 13 years, day after day, year after year?"

13. RS: "Why would you want to shelter your children like that?!"
You: " Well, the horse and buggy became too cumbersome so I learned how to drive a car. We go on field trips and outings nearly every week...unlike most traditionally educated children who may have a field trip once a year."



and my personal favorite...



14. RS: "My brother-in-law/sister-in-law/fiancee's cousin....Homeschools and their kids are bratty/stupid/too shy/too assertive/too fat/too skinny/lazy/clean house all day/talk too loud/breathe too hard/don't have any friends/talk to their friends way too much......

You: "Yes, I'm sure it's because they are homeschooled.....Public Schooled kids are perfect."


Saturday, September 11, 2010

fried chicken & firetrucks

friday is library day(not every friday). its a day filled with puppet shows & stories & playing with friends. friday is one of mommy's favorite days because it means i get to play with my friends too!

this particular friday was filled with firemen instead of puppets. no my monster didn't burn down the library. it has been safety month & this week they got to meet a couple of firemen, see the truck & learn about fire safety. the day started out easy enough, coloring a smoke detector &  talking about the sound they make. when we are done with out pitiful looking smoke alarms we move on to the other room where we get to meet the firemen. i predict as soon as i see the suit in the corner that my child is going to freak out major when she sees him suited up. they discuss the smoke alarms a lil more & talk about crawling under the smoke(which was demonstrated by the rookie of course). oh & by the way " what does it mean when the smoke alarm goes off?" any guesses "SUPPER IS DONE!".  as the young man begins to put his ominous looking fire suit on my sweet angel turns & looks at me with a look of sheer terror on her pale face. I WAS RIGHT!!! she had to get up from her seat & come to where i was so she could be held  so that she would not start screaming. i had to keep reminding her that it was still the fireman under all stuff.  finally he removes his garb & she is fine, very disinterested looking but fine.they venture outside to take a tour of the fire truck. i thought my kid would be excited since she LOVES firetrucks boy was i wrong. she still has this genuine look of complete detachment form the activity. we take pictures & she is half smiling in just one photograph. they are just about to get to climb all over the huge truck like little monkeys when the firemen get a call & have to hurry & leave.  they pull out of the library parking lot with lights flashing, sirens roaring & my kid still looking bored beyond belief. the truck gets out of sight & you can hear the horn bellow loudly as they get into traffic & my child perks up smiling & says "mommy, the firetruck i hear it!!". yup after it leaves she gets excited!

off to lunch we go. we head off to our usual spot. we congregate at the BK since it is the ONLY one with a play area now. we take over  the restaurant causing chaos & disorder. our group is so vast that we take up 3 tables, 2 for kiddos & 1 for adults (what no we are not outnumbered) smack in the middle of the room of course.  we have our lunch & chat while the monsters play & make small attempts at eating their food. i at my nearly burnt chicken fries with no complaints, that happens when you are enjoying the conversation  as much as i was. it also happens that when you are really enjoying the conversation you tend to not notice what your children are up to, as we quickly learned. this snooty much older woman walks up to us & begins to reprimand us telling us we need to get our kids because they are being far to rowdy(she was very rude about it too. apparently this sensitive little girl (her grand daughter) got in the middle of where the boys were playing & jumping around & she started to cry. i had to walk out of the room to preserve what little shred of decency i had left because i was trying so hard to not say what i wanted to say to her. what i wanted to say was something like this " lady its not our fault if she is so caught in your apron strings she doesn't know how to play with other children." or maybe "its not our problem is she is a crybaby now is it"  but instead of being snarky i removed myself from the situation :) 
later at the same location my tiny hellion  is playing with the straw from her drink. this ends badly of course. she somehow manages to poke another child in the eye with her straw. the poor girl is crying & mine seems clueless as to what has happened. i end up putting her in an extended time-out. during her time-out she gets up several times trying to play & i have to put her back on her seat. finally the crying stops & i let her get up. by now the i pad has been brought out & they are playing games on it. shortly , all of the smaller kiddos are having melt downs & its time to leave.


next stop wal-mart. we unload & make our way inside kiddos in hand. people staring as we load them into one of those giant carts with the extra seats. we meet up with the rest of the gang & begin our collective jaunt around the super store. it was kind of like when the house fell on the witch & dorthy & toto came out, yeah that same kind of whisper & shock as we strolled the isles with our sweet babies. ok so let me skip to the juicy bit. we are standing in front of the book section & the kids have each found a title that peaks their interest & have began to read. my lil dear is sitting in the floor, quietly, admiring a book with flaps & hidden pictures along with her best friend(the one with the eye she nearly poked out). they are being sweet angel babies  & people are making snotty comments from afar!! can you believe it?? so i chirp up & say " what, of course my kid has to read the books when we cone to wal-mart. we ain't got no books at home." which is a bald face lie since we have a classroom stuffed with all types of books. my kid just loves to read & i love to make rude comments, we are a match made in heaven.

all in all we had a marvelous day with everyone & i wish we could do it more often. oh how life gets in the way of fun.









Friday, September 10, 2010

Monkey Shorts


ok, so the other day i went with my sister-in-law to "town" & my kid was totally inexplicably insane!! we started our lil trip with a visit to clothing store #1 where she decided it would be fun to touch the clothes with the bottoms of her filthy shoes. yup, you read that right, the bottoms of her filthy, nasty, disgusting shoes!! i was holding her so she could not run around the store like some little heathen child, BUT, she decides to hold her legs straight out so that her feet touch the clothes. before we leave she has managed to get down & rummage the racks of clothes, touch EVERY pair of shoes in the building, & try on ALL the jewelry. so we are off to lunch where she is fairly calm, wiggly but calm. 
clothing store #2 brings waves of newly found energy to my tiny monster! she is grabbing wallets off shelves, sampling the perfumes, spinning the jewelry racks, & sprinting in the skirt section. by this time i have lost all composure & am about to snap.  she is like the energizer bunny, she keeps going & going & going. i can't take it any more so i shamefully haul the tiny tyrant outside to wait for her aunt to finish shopping.
our last stop is a shoe store. GREAT!! my child loves shoes. i mean, LOVES shoes with a fiery burning passion. big shoes, little shoes, ugly shoes it doesn't matter as long as she can get them on her feet. we get in the poor unwitting shoe store & i find a bench to sit her on & tell her not to move. yeah so much for that wasted breath. i am helping my sister-in-law find a  pair of shoes & i look back at my kiddo & she is up trying on shoes, sitting there in the isle on the floor with about 3 pairs of shoes. i tell her no & put her back on her seat. this happens about 4 million times before we leave the store & i have single handedly restocked nearly the entire children's section. FINALLY its time to go. i have never been so ready to get out of a shoe store in my entire life. i was so ready to just get back home so she could be free to reign down her special brand of horror in a less public setting. by the time we ogt home all i wanted to do was take
a nap. i was frustrated & worn out like a pair of smelly gym
shoes. i opened thefront door of my lovely, wonderful, familiar
house & remembered....i still had to clean house before the hubby got home!