how to mop: as taught by a 3yr old

i now know how my mother felt when she tried to get me to clean my room all those years. i can't believe a kid can live in a room as messy as the monster keeps her lair! its horrific they state that place stays in most days. i can clean it & with in a 30 minute period it looks the same way it did before  i cleaned it up. it is completely useless to try to clean a childs room.

i recently found myself complaining  about the amount of sand & random trash on the monster's bedroom floor. of course i had to clean her disaster area...wait i mean bedroom...just so i could find the floor in the first place. it looked like someone had missed a target in iraq & hit her room instead! this place was a MESS!! she has s lot of small toys...toys that are SUPPOSED to be in bins in an orderly fashion...my mother likes to get her happy meals & make sure the toys find their way to my house....& pillows...she has more pillows than bed, bath & beyond! my child's idea of organization is having everything spread out in the floor so she can see her mighty kingdom sprawled out before her.

so, i finally get her room clean & we are having dinner with our neighbors...the three smallest kiddos are in the monster's room playing & watching cartoons. we are all enjoying our dinner & watching a movie  then the hubby goes to check on the kiddos that have suddenly fell rather silent for a group of kids their age. the hubby comes back & urges me & our neighbor to go peek in on the little darlings....they had gotten the hand soap out of the bathroom & were spreading it all over the floor. "we want to slip & slide!!" "look at us!!" one even took off  socks & shoes & applied soap to feet & replaced shoes & socks to save it for when they got home. it was horrible, they had used over half of the bottle of soap on the floor. they were handed rags & made to clean up the mess that they had made. the rags they used had to be washed twice to get all the soap out. we still don't know which of the three came up with the scheme to slip & slide on the bedroom floor...all parties involved are presumed guilty until proven innocent :)

presto...instant mopped floor!

monster tag

i often long for the days when a simple game of tag or hide & seek was the highlight of the weekend. running around with friends, screaming, & having a great time. we all remember being little & playing a good game of tag with whoever would join in.

ok,  so we all remember the way you are supposed to play tag. BUT...you have never played tag with the monster!

tonite we were sitting in the living room eating dinner when the monster decides she wants to play tag. she turns around looks at her nini & says "TAG YOU'RE IT!!"....out of nowhere like some random crazy person.  we played a very stationary game of tag for about fifteen minutes or longer. the monster was thrilled to pieces!! i never imagined playing tag from the couch would be any fun but it really was. the monster laughed till she couldn't breathe  anymore. somewhere in the midst of this exciting game the hubby  got up to walk to the trashcan & on the way back he bumped into the monster  & she in turn bumped into the wall. she cried for a minute & then looks up at her daddy & says "TAG YOU'RE IT!!"

faith, hope & charity are grounded & can't play with you!

faith, hope & charity have died. america killed them a long long time ago. i can hear you saying "oh gosh, she is nuts!", "she is soo unpartiotic!", "she must be a foreigner!"....nope i am none of those things...well except the nuts part maybe.

just because we adopt poor starving babies from africa, donate to the ASPCA of germany, send money to that last place that was flooded or send socks to the people of whosawhatickstan does not make us good. if we were really & i mean really good (not the good that we do for show or just on sunday at church because we are supposed to) we would feed the poor kid we saw at the texaco begging for change to get a soda on thursday. 

in my opinion its more  important to help your neighbor that is in need & then help the people in other countries. charity starts at HOME people!

chances are you know someone that is having trouble with the everyday things like bills & groceries....help them & then see if you have enough left to adopt that african kid or to send to whuckwierdistania for that toxic mold thing.

i know many families that could use a little help here & there. not lazy people that just want a free ride like so many that are sucking up the government assistance & still driving big gas sucking SUVs with shiny new rims & eating steaks.  if you live with your momma & drive an escalade with 30 inch rims you need to get outta the food stamp line & let the single mom with kids & full time job & bills to pay get in your place! quit lying to get help you don't really need...you are helping destroy the country.

oh, did i mention you have no idea if that money you send that poor starving kid in whichever country you picked is even being used for that child...sure you get a sweet little picture of some hungry looking child of that nationality & a cutesy thank you letter & short biography about them...i could be send you that crap & you wouldn't know it was from ME....that money could be funding terrorism! you have not been to duckdarnistan & don't know how the people live...what if you took a trip there & saw that kid you "adopted" from the tv eating a steak & chugging a beer & really being 30 or 40 years old with a good job & 4 kids...wouldn't you feel silly??

now, i am NOT saying you shouldn't want to help people from other countries & all that...thats not it at all. i just want you to see the need in your community FIRST then help the other people of the world. wouldn't it feel better to know your hard earned money was helping someone you actually knew & could see & speak to in person than someone you will never be able to meet?  times are hard for a lot of people still & will continue to be for quiet some time in the future....help someone on your street, in your town, or your state. if we all helped each other there would be no need for government assistance programs like food stamps & housing & energy assistance. treat your neighbors like family...the family you invite to thanksgiving not the ones you "forget" to invite.

there are many churches that can't keep enough food in their food panty to help the community & keep those few people going for that month....donate some can goods to help them out. volunteer someplace or something crazy like that. help the old guy across the street rake his leaves & see if he has something to eat for dinner tonite.