zombies in the stuffing

its cold outside again & its getting to be that special time of year... you know that time of year kids LOVE & parents LOATHE....the holidays silly! much like birthdays this coming couple of months is highly over rated & needs to be rethought. 

i remember as a kid getting those butterflies in my stomach counting down the school days that were left until thanksgiving & then the BIG holiday...CHRISTMAS....i just couldn't wait. we always made calendars to count down the days we had left until holiday break & posted then on the side of our desk. it seems like our goal for the year was to see how quickly we could get from one holiday to the next. we never counted the days until we went back to school after holiday break or wished the days would fly by so we could go back to class. the holidays were our main priority & we loved every minute of them. now it seems like as soon as school started we were counting down the days we had for thanksgiving....we proable did since haloween decorations are being put out in the stores while we are still going swimming & the fall decor is not to far behind that with christmas sprinkled in the mix. when you are a kid it can feel like there is only a 2 week delay in between the holidays.

when i think back  i remember gathering at my grandparents house to eat with all of my family on thanksgiving & how as i got older that large number of family slowly dwindled to just a few.   we had so much fun running & playing outside waiting on the food to be ready. there was nothing better than that time we spent together.

as an adult i miss the times shared with family members both good & bad...you never really know what you had until its gone.  when   was a kid it was less about the commercials of it all & more about that quality time. thanksgiving was about being thankful we had each other. now you spend so much time making sure you have the right brand turkey to go with your perfect brand stuffing that you are going to sit on your uptight brand table runner that you forget you already have all that you need to be thankful...your family & friends!!!
this year at my house people have to work & it is going to be hard for everyone to squeeze this holiday in but i hope we can still have tine to remember how thankful we are to have each other & what the day REALLY  means to us all. turkey & dressing & pie is not what it means....love & family & the fact that we all woke up that morning is what is all about.

one of my favorite holidays has always been christmas. i love putting up the tree...yes the actual act of having to put it together...yup you got it the labor intensive part is my favorite. i like going & looking at other people's christmas lights....driving slowly through strange neighborhoods can actually be relaxing. as a kid i my favorite part was waking up & seeing all of my presents under the tree....as an adult my favorite part is seeing my daughter's eyes when she sees her presents under the tree. 

we all have different ideas about christmas. if you are a christian (like me) you honor this holiday as the birth of christ ....most people however just like the idea of getting presents in an elaborate fashion. in my family we try to fit in jesus, presents & giving to others all in this time....it can get CRAZY sometimes. 

when i was a kid my mom always had the tree you didn't touch....& touch you did not for fear of her breaking you before you broke her ornaments. this is the first year we have had an actual christmas tree at our house since the monster has been born. the last few years we have had mini trees & had them up where she could not touch. now we have a big tree that was my mom's & it is going to be decorated in child friendly decorations. the monster is making her own ornaments this year! yup...our tree is flammable so keep 911 on speed dial...oh wait...i am not putting lights on it...so never mind its safe....i hope.

the craft time ornaments are part of my plan to keep her out of the commercial end of christmas. i want her to realize at an early age that christmas is not about getting but giving  & being thankful for what you already have. we might even start doing one of the shoe boxes for a needy kid or a christmas angel. we get her very few gifts & try to tell her the christmas story many times over the holidays. we really wan to avoid the problems so many parents have with kids expecting certian gifts on christmas morning & then being rude when they don't get them.

i really hope that we can raise a kind, generous & loving monster instead of a gift hoarding video game lover.

how to mop: as taught by a 3yr old

i now know how my mother felt when she tried to get me to clean my room all those years. i can't believe a kid can live in a room as messy as the monster keeps her lair! its horrific they state that place stays in most days. i can clean it & with in a 30 minute period it looks the same way it did before  i cleaned it up. it is completely useless to try to clean a childs room.

i recently found myself complaining  about the amount of sand & random trash on the monster's bedroom floor. of course i had to clean her disaster area...wait i mean bedroom...just so i could find the floor in the first place. it looked like someone had missed a target in iraq & hit her room instead! this place was a MESS!! she has s lot of small toys...toys that are SUPPOSED to be in bins in an orderly fashion...my mother likes to get her happy meals & make sure the toys find their way to my house....& pillows...she has more pillows than bed, bath & beyond! my child's idea of organization is having everything spread out in the floor so she can see her mighty kingdom sprawled out before her.

so, i finally get her room clean & we are having dinner with our neighbors...the three smallest kiddos are in the monster's room playing & watching cartoons. we are all enjoying our dinner & watching a movie  then the hubby goes to check on the kiddos that have suddenly fell rather silent for a group of kids their age. the hubby comes back & urges me & our neighbor to go peek in on the little darlings....they had gotten the hand soap out of the bathroom & were spreading it all over the floor. "we want to slip & slide!!" "look at us!!" one even took off  socks & shoes & applied soap to feet & replaced shoes & socks to save it for when they got home. it was horrible, they had used over half of the bottle of soap on the floor. they were handed rags & made to clean up the mess that they had made. the rags they used had to be washed twice to get all the soap out. we still don't know which of the three came up with the scheme to slip & slide on the bedroom floor...all parties involved are presumed guilty until proven innocent :)

presto...instant mopped floor!

who are you...

i can remember wearing a store bought halloween costume twice in my entire life. the first one was none other than the amazing WONDER WOMAN...i was like five...it had the flimsy plastic mask that you could cut yourself on & the plastic jumpsuit. the second one was a super crappy witch thing, it was SUPPOSED to look like the wicked witch from sleeping beauty...it did no such thing however.  the rest of my trick-or-treat career i was dressed in homemade costumes. my go to outfit you may be asking yourself...why a witch of course! i have done the green face, fake nose & any other witchy thing you can think of. i play the part well.

fast forward more than a few years & now its my kids turn to dress up for halloween. her very first time she was like 4  or 5 months old & she was a fairy...made wings & a wand for her...she was super cute!!  her second halloween she was a princess..her gown cam from her very own collection of dress up clothes. this year she has been a chicken for a costume party (i got the chicken outfit from a thrift store) & she has been trick-or-treating twice as lola luftnagle. yes, lola from hanna montana....she picked it out...lola is nothing but a wig & some clothes out of the monster's closet....she was also a rockstar, which vaguely resmebled the lola get up. sha has not wanted to take off the purple wig except to sleep & to shower.
guess what i was....oh you are no fun....yes i was a witch...as usual.

for all you kiddies too young to know about the early haloween costumes, here are a couple of pictures of one like the wonder woman one i had. yes that says the suit is made from VINYL!! that is PLASTIC kids....talk about sweating for ya candy...you could sure do it in one of these puppies!  they were so great though.  costumes have come such a long way!

monster tag

i often long for the days when a simple game of tag or hide & seek was the highlight of the weekend. running around with friends, screaming, & having a great time. we all remember being little & playing a good game of tag with whoever would join in.

ok,  so we all remember the way you are supposed to play tag. BUT...you have never played tag with the monster!

tonite we were sitting in the living room eating dinner when the monster decides she wants to play tag. she turns around looks at her nini & says "TAG YOU'RE IT!!"....out of nowhere like some random crazy person.  we played a very stationary game of tag for about fifteen minutes or longer. the monster was thrilled to pieces!! i never imagined playing tag from the couch would be any fun but it really was. the monster laughed till she couldn't breathe  anymore. somewhere in the midst of this exciting game the hubby  got up to walk to the trashcan & on the way back he bumped into the monster  & she in turn bumped into the wall. she cried for a minute & then looks up at her daddy & says "TAG YOU'RE IT!!"

faith, hope & charity are grounded & can't play with you!

faith, hope & charity have died. america killed them a long long time ago. i can hear you saying "oh gosh, she is nuts!", "she is soo unpartiotic!", "she must be a foreigner!"....nope i am none of those things...well except the nuts part maybe.

just because we adopt poor starving babies from africa, donate to the ASPCA of germany, send money to that last place that was flooded or send socks to the people of whosawhatickstan does not make us good. if we were really & i mean really good (not the good that we do for show or just on sunday at church because we are supposed to) we would feed the poor kid we saw at the texaco begging for change to get a soda on thursday. 

in my opinion its more  important to help your neighbor that is in need & then help the people in other countries. charity starts at HOME people!

chances are you know someone that is having trouble with the everyday things like bills & groceries....help them & then see if you have enough left to adopt that african kid or to send to whuckwierdistania for that toxic mold thing.

i know many families that could use a little help here & there. not lazy people that just want a free ride like so many that are sucking up the government assistance & still driving big gas sucking SUVs with shiny new rims & eating steaks.  if you live with your momma & drive an escalade with 30 inch rims you need to get outta the food stamp line & let the single mom with kids & full time job & bills to pay get in your place! quit lying to get help you don't really need...you are helping destroy the country.

oh, did i mention you have no idea if that money you send that poor starving kid in whichever country you picked is even being used for that child...sure you get a sweet little picture of some hungry looking child of that nationality & a cutesy thank you letter & short biography about them...i could be send you that crap & you wouldn't know it was from ME....that money could be funding terrorism! you have not been to duckdarnistan & don't know how the people live...what if you took a trip there & saw that kid you "adopted" from the tv eating a steak & chugging a beer & really being 30 or 40 years old with a good job & 4 kids...wouldn't you feel silly??

now, i am NOT saying you shouldn't want to help people from other countries & all that...thats not it at all. i just want you to see the need in your community FIRST then help the other people of the world. wouldn't it feel better to know your hard earned money was helping someone you actually knew & could see & speak to in person than someone you will never be able to meet?  times are hard for a lot of people still & will continue to be for quiet some time in the future....help someone on your street, in your town, or your state. if we all helped each other there would be no need for government assistance programs like food stamps & housing & energy assistance. treat your neighbors like family...the family you invite to thanksgiving not the ones you "forget" to invite.

there are many churches that can't keep enough food in their food panty to help the community & keep those few people going for that month....donate some can goods to help them out. volunteer someplace or something crazy like that. help the old guy across the street rake his leaves & see if he has something to eat for dinner tonite.

please leave a message at the beep.............

you have reached the the offices of monster & monster incorporated. we will not be available for the next few days so please leave a message & we will get back to you as soon as possible. we are sorry for the inconvenience.





ok, so not really sorry about it...but it sounded nice didn't it. my mom has the monster for the weekend & its just me & the hubby for the next couple of days. i have every intention to sleep in late & be lazy. the harsh reality is that i might sleep a lil later but i will have to clean house & do all the stuff i didn't get the chance to do during the week.

don't get me wrong now...i LOVE keeping #2 during the week but it can really wear me out sometimes. all that running & playing & question asking & running & playing & doing worksheets & running & playing & asking questions. this week i had my monster, #2, & a 2month old...i am so not used to that....much more & my brain might explode(well what is left of it anyway) that would just be messy & i don't wanna clean it up. so yeah don't get the wrong idea & think i hate having kids around or anything like that becasue you would be WAAAYYY off!!  it can just be mentally draining is all i am saying. ask any teacher or daycare worker. let me ask you five million questions & see if you don't need a vacation.

oh wait, i think my head exploded...let me clean that up :)

oh my...i need to vent. brace yourself. this has been a rough week. it seems like everything that could go wrong went wrong & then some. thursday was a bit of an over achiever. friday was ok, thanks to my mom & a special person that i shall refer to as the bestie. saturday was just kinda numb.

ok, let me start at the beginning...monday was ...ummmmm...yeah so i don't remember monday so we shall move on to tuesday. tuesday was....other than it being the second day of the week i have no memory of that day either. lets try wednesday. wednesday... wednesday...wednesday... holy carbs batman! i don't remember that one either...oops...well i told you it was a rough week.

so let me tell you about the wonderful thursday i had. the day started out like any other...i got up at 6am & waited for #2 to arrive just like i do every morning. so after a lot of waiting #2's mom finally pulls up in my dimly lit front yard with a screaming & crying #2 in tow. 

 turned out he didn't get his candy bar because he did not want to brush his teeth. welp...this is kinda how the rest of the day was. screaming & crying & telling on one another. the monster & #2 practically fought over the air they were breathing. everything about it was completely ridiculous ... totally... utterly... 100% pure insanity!!! they couldn't be in the same room for longer than five minutes without having a problem of some sort. they fought over what cup the other was going to drink out of, where the monster's camo jacket came from, if it was actually in fact HER jacket, who was gonna drive the four wheeler, if the other one was hungry, & what they wanted to eat...the list could go on & on & on. i finally found a solution to my delima...NAP TIME...or so i thought...#2 took a nap but the monster however did not & she was out to get on my very last nerve apparently. she got into everything & tried her hardest to wake up #2.

i am not sure what i have done in my life that was bad enough to deserve that day as punishment but i pray i can be forgiven cause it must have been horrible whatever it was.

lets move on to friday since it was not nearly as horrific as my thursday.

i didn't have #2 on friday so i got to spend a lil time with the monster. my mom the monster & me went to the library to catch the puppet show (got there early so we wouldn't miss it) they did a rendition of "the lil red hen" that was kind of awesome, complete with special effects.  oh, did i mention i met the bestie there that morning after not seeing her for a whole week..so that was nice & brightened my day. the kiddos sat together during the puppet show & did their crafty thingy together too. the bestie's lil fireball &  my monster are like peas & carrots when they get together..its super cute. after the puppet show we did some shopping at the thrift stores in town & the bestie did the most awesome thing she could have ever done...she took the monster with her to lunch & to play with her lil fireball!!! she let me have some time off!!! the bestie is the GREATEST EVER!! she rescued me after my horrible thursday..what more could you want in a friend!?!?  so me & mom did some shopping & had lunch at a grown up restaurant (it didn't have a play ground inside it) ...it was awesome, like to the max!  after my grown up lunch we all met back up & spent some quality time shopping time together before the bestie had to split.  so with a little help friday turned out much better than my mind numbing thursday.

saturday turned out to be pretty good....except that my brain was still on vacation which meant i could not remember anything or do much of anything right. BUT i got to spend some quality time with the hubby.  our lil monster was basicaly pretty good that day too.
sunday turned out nice, thank the heavens above. i even got to hang out with my mother-in-law some. oh & spent a lil time with my awesome "new" neighbors too....the kids played we talked & it was wonderful. 

now if the construction on my house would stop soon i might make it to see next weekend.

fire in the hole...

i remember when i was little i loved to play outside. i could stay outside for hours & hours...also known as locked out of the house (which was ok back then). i could come up with all kinds of games & things to play all by myself. what has happened to kids today? now kids can barely go to the mailbox without turn by turn directions...not that most of them know what a real mailbox even looks like...yeah the real ones that you can touch not the email kind. 

where i am going with  this you may be asking yourself....ants, that is where i am going....my kid is allergic to the lil buggers!  today we had to make an appointment to see her doc because she was bitten & her foot was swollen from it. yup, ants, just your regular everyday ants...ok fire ants maybe but ants either way ya go.  she had 4 or 5 bites on her foot & it  was swollen pretty bad they gave her an antibiotic & some stuff to rub on it...the same stuff they gave her for her diaper rash. after this she is no longer allowed outside with no shoes. the horrible thing about this is that where we live there are tons of ants. the evil little things are everywhere here!! i have never seen a place that had as many ants, well besides an ant farm.

i felt kinda dumb calling the doctor's office this morning about some ant bites. but ya gotta do what ya gotta do i guess. the nurses didn't act like i was insane though so that helped my ego a little. however, i do think they expected something a tiny bit more gruesome than we had to offer them one we got there. by the afternoon the swelling was begining to subside, not much,which it made the bite a smidge less impressive to those in the medical proffesion.

on the bright side of things we have the meds & the foot is getting back to normal now. maybe we can stay away from satan's tiny minions for a while :)