Wednesday, October 27, 2010

monster tag

i often long for the days when a simple game of tag or hide & seek was the highlight of the weekend. running around with friends, screaming, & having a great time. we all remember being little & playing a good game of tag with whoever would join in.

ok,  so we all remember the way you are supposed to play tag. have never played tag with the monster!

tonite we were sitting in the living room eating dinner when the monster decides she wants to play tag. she turns around looks at her nini & says "TAG YOU'RE IT!!"....out of nowhere like some random crazy person.  we played a very stationary game of tag for about fifteen minutes or longer. the monster was thrilled to pieces!! i never imagined playing tag from the couch would be any fun but it really was. the monster laughed till she couldn't breathe  anymore. somewhere in the midst of this exciting game the hubby  got up to walk to the trashcan & on the way back he bumped into the monster  & she in turn bumped into the wall. she cried for a minute & then looks up at her daddy & says "TAG YOU'RE IT!!"

Monday, October 25, 2010

faith, hope & charity are grounded & can't play with you!

faith, hope & charity have died. america killed them a long long time ago. i can hear you saying "oh gosh, she is nuts!", "she is soo unpartiotic!", "she must be a foreigner!"....nope i am none of those things...well except the nuts part maybe.

just because we adopt poor starving babies from africa, donate to the ASPCA of germany, send money to that last place that was flooded or send socks to the people of whosawhatickstan does not make us good. if we were really & i mean really good (not the good that we do for show or just on sunday at church because we are supposed to) we would feed the poor kid we saw at the texaco begging for change to get a soda on thursday. 

in my opinion its more  important to help your neighbor that is in need & then help the people in other countries. charity starts at HOME people!

chances are you know someone that is having trouble with the everyday things like bills & them & then see if you have enough left to adopt that african kid or to send to whuckwierdistania for that toxic mold thing.

i know many families that could use a little help here & there. not lazy people that just want a free ride like so many that are sucking up the government assistance & still driving big gas sucking SUVs with shiny new rims & eating steaks.  if you live with your momma & drive an escalade with 30 inch rims you need to get outta the food stamp line & let the single mom with kids & full time job & bills to pay get in your place! quit lying to get help you don't really are helping destroy the country.

oh, did i mention you have no idea if that money you send that poor starving kid in whichever country you picked is even being used for that child...sure you get a sweet little picture of some hungry looking child of that nationality & a cutesy thank you letter & short biography about them...i could be send you that crap & you wouldn't know it was from ME....that money could be funding terrorism! you have not been to duckdarnistan & don't know how the people live...what if you took a trip there & saw that kid you "adopted" from the tv eating a steak & chugging a beer & really being 30 or 40 years old with a good job & 4 kids...wouldn't you feel silly??

now, i am NOT saying you shouldn't want to help people from other countries & all that...thats not it at all. i just want you to see the need in your community FIRST then help the other people of the world. wouldn't it feel better to know your hard earned money was helping someone you actually knew & could see & speak to in person than someone you will never be able to meet?  times are hard for a lot of people still & will continue to be for quiet some time in the someone on your street, in your town, or your state. if we all helped each other there would be no need for government assistance programs like food stamps & housing & energy assistance. treat your neighbors like family...the family you invite to thanksgiving not the ones you "forget" to invite.

there are many churches that can't keep enough food in their food panty to help the community & keep those few people going for that month....donate some can goods to help them out. volunteer someplace or something crazy like that. help the old guy across the street rake his leaves & see if he has something to eat for dinner tonite.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

please leave a message at the beep.............

you have reached the the offices of monster & monster incorporated. we will not be available for the next few days so please leave a message & we will get back to you as soon as possible. we are sorry for the inconvenience.

ok, so not really sorry about it...but it sounded nice didn't it. my mom has the monster for the weekend & its just me & the hubby for the next couple of days. i have every intention to sleep in late & be lazy. the harsh reality is that i might sleep a lil later but i will have to clean house & do all the stuff i didn't get the chance to do during the week.

don't get me wrong now...i LOVE keeping #2 during the week but it can really wear me out sometimes. all that running & playing & question asking & running & playing & doing worksheets & running & playing & asking questions. this week i had my monster, #2, & a 2month old...i am so not used to that....much more & my brain might explode(well what is left of it anyway) that would just be messy & i don't wanna clean it up. so yeah don't get the wrong idea & think i hate having kids around or anything like that becasue you would be WAAAYYY off!!  it can just be mentally draining is all i am saying. ask any teacher or daycare worker. let me ask you five million questions & see if you don't need a vacation.

Monday, October 18, 2010

oh wait, i think my head exploded...let me clean that up :)

oh my...i need to vent. brace yourself. this has been a rough week. it seems like everything that could go wrong went wrong & then some. thursday was a bit of an over achiever. friday was ok, thanks to my mom & a special person that i shall refer to as the bestie. saturday was just kinda numb.

ok, let me start at the beginning...monday was ...ummmmm...yeah so i don't remember monday so we shall move on to tuesday. tuesday was....other than it being the second day of the week i have no memory of that day either. lets try wednesday. wednesday... wednesday...wednesday... holy carbs batman! i don't remember that one either...oops...well i told you it was a rough week.

so let me tell you about the wonderful thursday i had. the day started out like any other...i got up at 6am & waited for #2 to arrive just like i do every morning. so after a lot of waiting #2's mom finally pulls up in my dimly lit front yard with a screaming & crying #2 in tow. 
 turned out he didn't get his candy bar because he did not want to brush his teeth. welp...this is kinda how the rest of the day was. screaming & crying & telling on one another. the monster & #2 practically fought over the air they were breathing. everything about it was completely ridiculous ... totally... utterly... 100% pure insanity!!! they couldn't be in the same room for longer than five minutes without having a problem of some sort. they fought over what cup the other was going to drink out of, where the monster's camo jacket came from, if it was actually in fact HER jacket, who was gonna drive the four wheeler, if the other one was hungry, & what they wanted to eat...the list could go on & on & on. i finally found a solution to my delima...NAP TIME...or so i thought...#2 took a nap but the monster however did not & she was out to get on my very last nerve apparently. she got into everything & tried her hardest to wake up #2.

i am not sure what i have done in my life that was bad enough to deserve that day as punishment but i pray i can be forgiven cause it must have been horrible whatever it was.

lets move on to friday since it was not nearly as horrific as my thursday.
i didn't have #2 on friday so i got to spend a lil time with the monster. my mom the monster & me went to the library to catch the puppet show (got there early so we wouldn't miss it) they did a rendition of "the lil red hen" that was kind of awesome, complete with special effects.  oh, did i mention i met the bestie there that morning after not seeing her for a whole that was nice & brightened my day. the kiddos sat together during the puppet show & did their crafty thingy together too. the bestie's lil fireball &  my monster are like peas & carrots when they get together..its super cute. after the puppet show we did some shopping at the thrift stores in town & the bestie did the most awesome thing she could have ever done...she took the monster with her to lunch & to play with her lil fireball!!! she let me have some time off!!! the bestie is the GREATEST EVER!! she rescued me after my horrible thursday..what more could you want in a friend!?!?  so me & mom did some shopping & had lunch at a grown up restaurant (it didn't have a play ground inside it) was awesome, like to the max!  after my grown up lunch we all met back up & spent some quality time shopping time together before the bestie had to split.  so with a little help friday turned out much better than my mind numbing thursday.

saturday turned out to be pretty good....except that my brain was still on vacation which meant i could not remember anything or do much of anything right. BUT i got to spend some quality time with the hubby.  our lil monster was basicaly pretty good that day too.
sunday turned out nice, thank the heavens above. i even got to hang out with my mother-in-law some. oh & spent a lil time with my awesome "new" neighbors too....the kids played we talked & it was wonderful. 
now if the construction on my house would stop soon i might make it to see next weekend.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

fire in the hole...

i remember when i was little i loved to play outside. i could stay outside for hours & hours...also known as locked out of the house (which was ok back then). i could come up with all kinds of games & things to play all by myself. what has happened to kids today? now kids can barely go to the mailbox without turn by turn directions...not that most of them know what a real mailbox even looks like...yeah the real ones that you can touch not the email kind. 

where i am going with  this you may be asking yourself....ants, that is where i am kid is allergic to the lil buggers!  today we had to make an appointment to see her doc because she was bitten & her foot was swollen from it. yup, ants, just your regular everyday ants...ok fire ants maybe but ants either way ya go.  she had 4 or 5 bites on her foot & it  was swollen pretty bad they gave her an antibiotic & some stuff to rub on it...the same stuff they gave her for her diaper rash. after this she is no longer allowed outside with no shoes. the horrible thing about this is that where we live there are tons of ants. the evil little things are everywhere here!! i have never seen a place that had as many ants, well besides an ant farm.
i felt kinda dumb calling the doctor's office this morning about some ant bites. but ya gotta do what ya gotta do i guess. the nurses didn't act like i was insane though so that helped my ego a little. however, i do think they expected something a tiny bit more gruesome than we had to offer them one we got there. by the afternoon the swelling was begining to subside, not much,which it made the bite a smidge less impressive to those in the medical proffesion.

on the bright side of things we have the meds & the foot is getting back to normal now. maybe we can stay away from satan's tiny minions for a while :)

Saturday, October 9, 2010

stickers, eggs & lots of attitude

 ya ever wondered where your kids gets their attitude from? haha, me too....but, according to my mom the monster is exactly like me when i was her i thought you always said i was a good kid?  yeah, so now i know my mom has a foggy perception of my childhood.

when you take my child somewhere you should be prepared to wish you had a roll of duct tape for her hands & mouth...and maybe her feet too. she will try to touch EVERYTHING(and succeed at it) & will talk endlessly about nothing & not make any sense to anyone over 6.  she makes millions of excuses to get out of the buggy when you go to wal-mart, her two faves are "i gotta potty." & "i wanna be holded.", she is good at faking you out too. she thinks that she NEEDS everything she sees while you are in a store.  i admit she is a lil spoiled, but she is an only child so that is expected. i don't call her the monster for nuthin :)

this is gonna sound like a commercial but here goes anyways.....
the lil monster has been playing what she thinks are games online for the past few weeks. really what she is doing are reading lessons on she calls it sam. all i hear is "i wanna play sam!!" or " can i play sam now??"  we have been using a free trial (which runs out the 23rd) you can get a 2year subscription to it for $80. i really think i am gonna buy it for her since she loves it so much & is really learning from it. she now recognizes most of the alphabet & can tell you what letter lots of words start with. when she is playing she can even read some of the words all by herself! its super awesome! even #2 likes it. ok back to your regularly scheduled programming.

the monster & #2 have been doing worksheets for the last 2weeks. they have killed my paper supply & are quickly running me out of ink(will take donations). the only thing #2 likes better than worksheets are gummy snacks, playing outside runs a super close 3rd. we have been working on colors, letters, numbers & anything else i can find that i think they will have fun doing. some of it is a step back for my monster but we all need to review sometimes & she does other stuff after he leaves too. the other day the lil monster did almost 30 worksheets all together. i print enough for them to have some the next day but they do them ALL...they actually ask to do another & another & another...its crazy!!maybe once they get this silly alphabet mess over with i can get them started on some stuff that is more fun like history, spelling & latin....maybe i can get them into college at age 6 or heck maybe 5 who knows....the possibilities are endless.   i am so happy that they love learning.
thursday i made them charts for behavior. i went back & gave stickers for the rest of the week & #2 has all of his stickers but the monster is missing a few....surprise surprise huh. i really hope the charts will be incentive enough to help the lil monster be...umm...less of a monster....yeah we shall see.

Monday, October 4, 2010

crayons & rollercoasters

hi. welcome to wacko land. i will be your tour guide. please keep your hands & feet & ears & noses inside the ride at all times.

ok, now that all of that is out of the way, let me tell you about the events of the past few ummmm.....days, weeks, whatever it has been(who is counting anyways?).

i have added a new monster to the repertoire, we shall call him #2(yeah a boy, go figure). not its not mine! so pick up your jaw. #2 belongs to a couple that live a few houses down from us. he is a nice kid & 95% of the time the monster gets along with him. #2 enjoys abusing bicycles & playing in the dirt & asking a quadrillion and one questions.

we attempted to go see the puppet show at the library on friday. this was somewhat of a flop. the monsters were really hyped up for it & just couldn't wait to see the puppets & do the dinky craft. we arrive at 10:37am ,the show was supposed to start at 10:30am, but this fateful morning it started at 10am instead. we missed the show but got to color a picture of a cookie. #2 was very disappointed. after everyone left i read them a couple of books & after we went to burger king so they could play.

a new week began with the pair of monsters & so came a new plan. i printed out worksheets, planned a game  & hoped for the best with fingers crossed. eventhough this week beagan on a monday it did not effect my plan. the monsters we basically good & did the works sheets & played the game. they even watched a movie & played outside.  this is #2's first encounter with the world of worksheets & what not so i had no clue what to expect. luckily #2 was excited about this new adventure i was about to take him on.  we are also working on #2's manners, please & thank you are just not his cup of tea.

oh, did i menttion i met my "new" neighbor? yeah well i did & her 4 kids too. the monster & neighbor's little girl get along famously & i think are now best friends. we even went over & roasted marshmallows, it was super awesome! i think the future holds many interesting things with this "new" neighbor.

now don't let me forget the rollercoaster that is my sister-in-law's dating life. that makes me wanna hurl worse than anything at six flags ever could. its up then its down the up & down & up & up & down & up & all around. makes me glad i am no longer a teenager trying to find mr. right or mr. right now or whatever it is girls today are looking for.

here is an interesting tid bit for ya.....
i have a ginormous bucket of crayons that i have had for hundreds of years (i think christopher columbus used them to make his map of america). you would think it would be simple to reach in & grab any color you needed out of this monstrosity. NO!!! its not that dig & dig & dig & you can't find the basic, blue, green, yellow, orange, brown, black....not in this bucket, fuchsia, teal, purple mountian's majesty, peacock, macaroni & cheese, puce, blazin berry....those are the kinds of colors you find in my crayon bucket...if its glittery or neon i got it in 3's baby!! makes teaching the basic colors kinda hard just incase you were wondering about that.